so about six months ago, i wrote myself a letter and told myself not to open it until 2014. today i decided to open it, because i'm impatient and i figured 6 months is a lovely, round number anyway.
i'm not going to include the whole letter, because it's quite personal. but here are some of the highlights:
Future self, are you a teacher? And if so, are you teaching drama? And if so, are you amazing at it? I really hope the answer to all of these questions is yes. I know myself and fellow past selves have put a lot of work in to get you to this point, so I really hope that you haven’t wasted it.
In case there are days when you feel depressed about teaching (this is still operating under the assumption that you are teaching of course) I would like you to remember why you wanted to teach. You love drama, you love language, you love the theatre, and performing, and how much fun it was whenever you’d worked so hard to get a piece of work polished for an audience. And you recognise that there are students out there who have that same passion, and DESERVE to be able to explore it! You remember being the new kid at school, always looking to the friendly drama classroom for a place that was safe and inviting. You get those naughty kids who are rubbish at English and maths and are even naughty in your classroom, but then they get on stage and it’s like “WOW. Where did that even come from?” Those kids need a place, and it's your job to make that place for them.
Future Jess (or should I say Miss?), you are there for a reason. Yes, lesson planning and unit planning and reporting and behaviour management all suck. They are not fun, and I won’t pretend they are. But they are just a part of what you do as a teacher. The most important parts, the part where a kid comes to you to say they’ve had a great day, or where you just finish a lesson and think ‘DAMN! I’m on fire!’, the first time you introduce a class to process drama and they just look like their minds have been completely blown… those are the parts of this job that make it great. Or at least, that’s what I imagine. I really hope you’ve managed to find new parts that excite you and bring you joy.
Jess, if you aren’t a teacher, why not? Why are you ignoring all of my hopes, all of the other past Jess’ hopes, and doing something else? If you’re working in an admin role, I will strangle you myself. You were made to be front and centre where the punters can see you. Not hiding behind a desk or schmoozing with P&C committee members.
I really hope you’re still alive. I hope that you’re strong, funny and sweet despite any bad experiences you may have. I hope you’ve seen another patch of this earth and travelled somewhere you’ve never been (be that overseas or at home), but I hope that you always remember that you’re a nice girl, from NQ. You just wanted to be happy and do something in life where you could wake up each day and know that you would be doing something you love.
so yeah, that's what i was thinking about 6 months ago. i think so far, life has gone pretty swimmingly.
there was also a lot of crap about relationships and my then (very recent) breakup. but that's not really as interesting to me right now. being in a place in my life where i don't actually know what's going on with regards to relationships makes it a bit hard to judge how far i've come.
