so i was watching this video today, and at around 2:45 john began talking about something i had very nearly but not quite blogged about recently.
on my second last shift at work i wrote a blog about something i wanted to discuss, but i didn't publish it because it came off as an incredible combination of sappy, cocky, idolatristic and vain. i know, it is a truly magnificent blog that can accomplish all of these tones. the entry in question absolutely did. but this is not that entry, this is just a shaddow of the entry, touching on the theme of the silver-backed gorilla.
so in the video posted (and if you don't watch it, don't worry. i just posted it because it reminded me of this topic) john talks about how we seek approval and acceptance of the people who we respect - the "silver-backed gorillas of our personal jungles".
i think that is a pretty fair statement. i know that personally, i don't seek approval and acceptance from the general populace - i'm comfortable and even unusually pleased with my perceived niche on the outskirts of popular culture, style, thought and opinion. there are people who accept and love this about me. they are my friends. and they wouldn't be my friends if they didn't. i don't feel the need to seek out their respect or approval, because i expect it. within the confines of the friendship, there is the unspoken precedent of mutual respect.
but then there are some people who i respect unilaterally - my respect isn't based on the premise of friendship, but rather respect for a person's thoughts, actions and philosophical outlook.
i respect key historical figures like rosa parks, mother theresa, einstein and william wallace.
i respect artists like picasso, beckett, warhol and piaf.
but more than that, i respect people who make things matter to me.
i know that probably seems a bit simplistic, and it is an oversimplification of something more difficult to articulate. but essentially, people with passion make me passionate. people who care deeply and passionately about things and thoughts and people - and who in turn make me care deeply and passionately about those things/thoughts/people - are the people i respect and seek respect from the most.
i could list these people, but i won't. because i don't want to embarrass myself or anyone else, and because i think that respect and idolatry are easily confused in circumstances like this.
but basically, i've been lucky enough to have a few silver-backed gorillas in my life. all of whom have touched me personally and taken an interest in my development.
they have said things, little things, that will stick with me for the rest of my life. and i'd like to share them here.
~ We need smart teachers
~ If you care about the equitable treatment of all human beings, you are a feminist
~ You're very intuitive
~ You're brilliant
this might seem like an ego trip, since all of those comments are directed at me and my personal state of being, rather than the larger philosophical concerns of mankind. but the reason these "compliments"(?) will stick with me for the rest of my life is because they came from people who i respect. so much so that simple statements like these - which could easily be read as platitudes - accrue deeper meaning simply by virtue of the 'sayer'.
these are my silver gorillas. some have been teachers, peers, employers and friends. do i think they are shining examples of humanity? no. they're normal people. they do normal jobs. they have normal needs and concerns and dreams. but they have passion, which in turn makes me passionate.
somehow, these people kindle the little light inside of me (which i suspect is inside of all of us), inspiring me and reminding me of the things that i'm passionate about.
so yes. that's the blog that got away.
silver-backed gorillas.
I think I said one of these... but I can't remember.
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting to me how you separate 'respect' based on friendship and 'respect' based on 'thoughts, actions and philosophical outlook'. I mean, I completely understand the distinction you've made... but at the same time, I have to wonder, is there room for somebody to be both of those things to you? Or does knowing someone automatically remove them from the latter category, simply because they've already fulfilled the criteria set out in the first instance?
In any case, I actually think this is my favourite blog that you've written. I could explain why, but I think I'd prefer it to be a mystery. Regardless, good work.
there is absolutely room for overlap in these categories. and often times people in the latter category fall into the former. but i think the distinction exists because there are some people who i respect (on a personal rather than more 'global' level) who don't necessarily respect me.
ReplyDeletethe list i'd posted consists of people who had taken a personal investment in my life, but there are so many people i respect from afar who have touched my life indirectly, and who i've had the fortune to see 'in action' when they're doing/talking about their passion. but that's not to say that these people will ever come to respect me in turn - because they may not realise how much i respect them.
i think especially at uni, there have been a lot of people (lecturers, tutors, artists and peers) who i have enormous amounts of respect for who don't have a clue that i see them in that way.
unrequited respect.
sure, that's a thing.